4 Ways to Stop Caring What People Say About You - Internet Marketing From Home

4 Ways to Stop Caring What People Say About You

dont care what people say

Most People Don’t Care About You – So Why Do You Need Their Approval?

So you’ve started a home business (or about to) and have been taken aback by the reaction of people you considered to be your friends. Some of them have been negative and tried to plant seeds of doubt in your brain.

Now the niggling doubts start to build.  If you’re not careful you’ll be out of the business before you started.

So what can you do to eliminate or at the very least reduce bad comments (and handle them better when you get them)?

Take a look:

1. Don’t Tell Them

In 2006 I made the decision to become an internet marketer, or to be more precise, an affiliate marketer.  After looking at various programs for a few weeks, I settled on one that I thought could be a good money spinner.  But I had some doubts and wanted to talk to someone about it.  But after reviewing a list of people I could discuss it with, I decided not to tell any of them.  The only person I told was my wife and after due consideration (about ten minutes), she gave it the thumb’s up.

So why didn’t I discuss it with other people?  A couple of reasons.  I had already made the decision and didn’t want to be swayed by anyone. I had a certain amount of belief in myself and figured it would be good enough to make it work.  Looking back I made the right decision because I started to make very good money by the end of the first month.  Ten years later I’ve sold millions of dollars worth of products online.  So, yeah it was the right decision.

What about you?

Should you follow my lead and keep your plan to yourself (other than talking to your partners)?  Probably.  But if you must talk to someone, read the next point…….

2. Share With Supporters Only

If you must share your plans with others, for goodness sakes share with people who support you and want you to succeed.  I also suggest you seek out people who already have a pattern of success in the home business arena.  Please note that I said ‘home business’.  A home business such as a network marketing business, an mlm program, or an affiliate program is quite different to a conventional business.

That’s is why I decided against seeking advice from traditional business owners about my decision to become an online affiliate marketer. My reasoning was that they had no clue about this type of business and therefore would only distract me from pursuing my dream.

Another point.

I have this theory that the reason why some people insist on sharing their plans with all and sundry is that they secretly want a reason not to proceed with the business.

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3. Find New Friends

I call it ‘pulling out the weeds’.  Every now and again you need to take a ‘friend stocktake’.  Write a list of the people you associate with and grade them according to the value they bring to the relationship.  Value subtractors need to be eliminated.  Does that mean you have to immediately cut them off?  Not necessarily – you can start the process by distancing yourself from them, one step at a time.  Sooner or later they’ll take a hint and leave of their own accord.

What about relatives?  Mmm.  A vexed issue.  They say you can choose your friends but you sure can’t choose your family.  Whilst true you can still give family members a wide birth when it comes to your future business plans.

4. Toughen Up

The real issue is you.  Do you have an overweening need to be loved?

Many people are ‘soft in the head’.  They’re far too malleable and are often swayed by the opinion of others.  So, the real issue is not what people think about you.  It is about you and your opinion of yourself.

How can you give your confidence a boost?  Press on.  Just do the thing that scares you.

The Wrap Up

Dream stealers are everywhere.  Although the people who are close to you may have your best interests at heart, they cannot make you successful in your new venture.  Only you can do that.  On the assumption that the program you’ve joined (or about to) is a good one, there is zero need to confide in anyone except your partner/spouse.

It’s your life and you’re the one who has to make a go of it, so step forward with confidence and resolve.  Your new life awaits you.

 

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About the Author Kim Willis

I've been an online marketer since 2006. During that time I've learned alot and made a full time living from month 1. I established this site to share my knowledge with you. Who knows - maybe you will change your life, just like I have.

  • I use to get discouraged when people would criticize me on a new business I want to get started in. I would get frustrated with them because they would piss and moan about the job they were in and when shone something new they would retreat and stick with what they were doing without even really looking at what is offered. After all my “friends” made me feel like crap I would quit and go try something new.

  • Hi Kim,

    If I had listened to what my family and friends thought about me running a part-time online business I would have given up long ago. Not a single one of them (except one son, bless him) can remotely understand my motivation for doing this.

    And my main motivation isn’t actually money, which is probably why they can’t understand it.

    So I do as you suggest and just keep it quiet. They don’t want to know because they’re not from an entrepreneurial background – and good for them, they’ve all worked hard for their nice pensions, so have no interest in what I’m doing – beyond vaguely wishing me well.

    I don’t want to cut myself off from these lovely people, so what I have done instead is expand my circle of friends by visiting local networking groups for small business people.

    I’m just back from one now, and I don’t really see them as a way to promote any particular business, because they’re actually full of people who could be regarded as my competitors. If I cared 🙂

    Instead I just see these meetings as a way to network with like-minded entrepreneurs. Some of them may one day have a need for one of the services I offer and remember me. But it’s very much a social thing for me.

    That’s me. But for people who really do want to promote their prime business, I recommend going along – regularly – to local business groups and making friends. Nothing will happen if you visit just once:-)

    Joy – Blogging After Dark

  • Thanks, Rob.

    For sure, there are plenty of dream stealers out there. They feel threatened when you dare to break loose from their safe little world, so they say things that are designed to undermine our belief in ourselves.

    Rob, the main thing is that you’re making progress – awesome!

    Kim

  • Great story, Joy

    And yes, there’s no need to cut people out of our lives. A gentler approach is often better

    Also great to see that you’re reaching out to others by attending events. Sure, many of the attendees will be competitors but my attitude is that today’s competitors could be tomorrow’s teammate. Circumstances change and if in the interim you’ve been building relationships when someone is ready to make a shift, you’re in the box seat.

    Actually, I’ve been using this same approach in the social media sphere recently. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve generated quality leads and a couple of sales simply because I reached out and got some dialogue happening. When people open up a bit I often find they have a pain point that needs some relief.

    Kim

  • Hi Kim,

    I never like to talk to family or friends when making any decision. They are too close for comfort and their expectations are unrealistic because our family members expect us to take a certain role. Even our friends. When we do something out of the little box they perceive us in, then they get a negative response.

    I rather talk to my peers, people that have done more than I have, but best of all, I like to hire a mentor/coach to check over my work…give me an unbiased opinion and some ideas.

    My husband is the ONLY person I really talk to…and that is every single day. We work our business together and it is a huge part of our life. We have so much fun with it.

    -Donna

  • I’m with you, Donna. When I was thinking of becoming an affiliate marketer (and invest $10k!) I didn’t seek the opinion of anyone. Even when I spoke to my wife I had already made the decision (of course if she strongly objected I would not have proceeded). But if I do talk to others about an idea, quite often I will prosecute the case and enroll them into my vision.

    Engaging a coach can also be a great way to flesh out a strategy. The coach can act as a sounding board and help us determine if the idea is worth pursuing

    Kim