Communication Primer - Don't Pre-Judge People! - Internet Marketing From Home

Communication Primer – Don’t Pre-Judge People!

PoodleWeird Austrian Turns Me Into His Strudel Poodle

(You Can’t Always Judge a Book By Its Cover)

First impressions count, right?

Not always.

Recently I was at a rock and roll bar. Just your standard Phnom Penh bar complete with the usual suspects – hookers, lookers, desperates, degenerates, and of course, she-males.

Amidst all of this was a wild-eyed man running around like a Banshee on steroids. He looked very weird to me. Especially when he directed his crazy eyes in my direction. I could see malice, and I know exactly what he was thinking – ‘I’m gonna kill you.’

I thought of leaving, but I told myself, ‘to hell with him.’ Five minutes later I was having second thoughts as he made a beeline towards me.

Before I could say ‘gimme another beer’ he was in my personal space, eyeball to eyeball.  For a few moments, nothing was said.  In fact, it was a bit like a Mexican standoff.  And then he started his interrogation.  ‘How long have you been living here?’, ‘Why do you like it?’, and ‘Have you been to Siem Reap yet?’

I was a bit taken back by his rapid-fire delivery and was making plans to get out of that place as quick as I could.  But something happened that completely changed the tone of the exchange.

He told a joke and gave me a huge smile.

It was at that point that I realized he was no madman; just an intense guy who wanted to make a new friend.  After chatting for a few minutes, my fears dissolved and I warmed to him.  He was an Austrian and was traveling the world, exploring different cultures and enjoying himself.  Just like me.

First impressions count? Not necessarily.

The Lesson

Think of your business.  Assuming you’re building a home business that requires you to interact and engage with people, you should heed the core message of this post.

Just as we should never pre-judge people in a social environment, the same rule applies in a business context.

When I was calling leads to make a buck there were times when I hesitated to call a particular lead because I pre-judged the person.  When I finally got around to phoning the person, sometimes I made a sale.  So the point is – if I didn’t call that person I would have denied myself $XX of income.  Not smart.

Think of your situation.

Were there times when you didn’t call a person because you thought they wouldn’t be interested?  Or perhaps you pre-judged and thought they weren’t a good lead.

Other Situations

Maybe you’re not a network marketer or big ticket affiliate marketer like me.

Perhaps you’re a blogger, and you want to guest post on someone’s authority blog.  Do you sometimes hesitate to contact the person because you pre-judge and don’t contact her?  Why do you do that?  Is it because you think she won’t be interested in little old you?

Another example:

You’re a marketer, and you know another marketer or business owner who has a valuable list.  You’d love to do a joint venture with him, but you figure he is way above your level, and wouldn’t be interested.  So you’re prejudging that person, when in reality, he may be a perfect fit for you.  This, of course, assumes you have a valuable proposition to present.

Why We Pre-Judge

Some people do it because they lack confidence.  In a sales context, they don’t make the calls because they’ve somehow convinced themselves that the prospect wouldn’t be interested in their product or program.  This behavior not only suggests a lack of confidence in themselves, but also a lack of belief in whatever it is they’re trying to promote.  If they had total faith, they would make the calls regardless.

Others pre-judge because they don’t want to waste time on what they think will be a non-productive result.  Indeed, from a cold-nosed business perspective, this tactic can work.  Business is different – we don’t want to waste time on people who simply cannot or will not buy our product or service.  But as the above story illustrates when you peel back the layers, there may well be the basis for a fruitful exchange.

The Washup

By all means take a business-like approach to the people you engage with – time is money, right?  But if you tend to pre-judge people because you don’t think they’d be interested in talking to you, or that they wouldn’t need your product think again.  If you are a good at identifying needs and solving problem, you may find that more of your leads will do business with you.  This, of course, will negate your core proposition that they won’t need or want your product.

So, stiffen your resolve, strengthen your backbone, and get into action.

Your Turn to Give Now

Be sure to TWEET THIS now. Appreciate it!

Was this post valuable for you?  If yes, I’d love you to comment below and share on Facebook.

Time to Comment!

Are you sometimes pre-judge people?

If yes, do you think that it may have cost you in terms of lost income?

Make a comment below! - banner final


About the Author Kim Willis

I've been an online marketer since 2006. During that time I've learned alot and made a full time living from month 1. I established this site to share my knowledge with you. Who knows - maybe you will change your life, just like I have.

  • Hi Kim,

    Great points and I know pre-judging people is a mistake I have made in the past.

    I suppose my mistake was usually thinking that people are doing really well with program A, so they wouldn’t be interested in program B.

    However, having been through your Success Training I now have some different strategies and questions to help me make better decisions and approaches to people, without pre-judging.

    Joy – Blogging After Dark

  • Great to hear that Joy.

    Yes, I’ve had situations in the past where I didn’t expose someone to my business because I thought they were happy with their current program. A month later they joined another program, but not with me. All because I assumed they wouldn’t be interested.


  • Hi Kim,

    Awesome advice!

    I think you shared this on your Facebook profile too, no? Maybe too much sun here lol…or I read your post here a few weeks back.

    Either way I dig the message. Be open. Be in the moment. Release pre-judgments based on appearance, presentation, heck, anything. Just treat people awesomely, smile, be grateful and see how quickly your pre-judging dissolves into love, unity, openness and a willingness to make an impact on everybody you meet.

    This Aussie-Austrian meeting shows sometimes our first impressions are filtered through our judging, versus being what they REALLY are. Big diffy and goodness knows I’m learning to judge less every day.

    Thanks for sharing!


  • Hi Ryan

    Yes, I did, but the blog post is an expanded version.

    Being less judgmental is a good thing to do on a personal level, but also on a business level. We’ll be more likely to connect with more people every week, even if some of them scare the living daylights out of us!

    Thanks Ryan